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Demisexuality: What is it to be demisexual?
Currently, we are facing a great sexual diversity compared to the options that were in the past. We find heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality and even asexuality. There is also another less known variety that usually goes unnoticed, demisexuality.
Demisexuality is lived by those who are unable to feel physical attraction for people, unless they have a very strong emotional bond with them, intimacy or affection. It does not have to be a romantic connection, sometimes you can also feel that connection with friends. Although the other person is physically very attractive, the demisexual does not feel that sexual need, it is necessary the previous emotional connection with that person. The demisexual needs to deepen in the relationship, know the other and establish love and trust. In the event that there was a previous emotional connection but that was suddenly lost, the sex with that person would no longer interest him, the desire would be extinguished.
The demisexual needs to deepen in the relationship, know the other and establish love and trust
They are able to recognize the physical attractiveness of people regardless of whether they are bi, homo or heterosexual, they are not blind, but their difficulty is that they do not feel attraction. Let's take an example, a person who starts a relationship with his partner for whatever reasons he decides to abstain until he has developed an intense bond. It is the reality of many people, however they may be attracted to the couple regardless of whether they have decided to wait or not.
In the same way they may be attracted to strangers, singers or actors ... If the opportunity to have an affair with them arises they would surely not do anything because to sleep with these people they need love and a previous connection. The demisexual directly does not feel any kind of interest or attraction for others, no desire awakens them. It is mandatory a previous intense connection and love so that they feel the minimum curiosity.
Normally in demisexuality the person takes longer to feel attracted to other people (because that previous link has to be created) and their feelings usually last less in the sense that they stop sharing common goals, related activities, trust, love, etc.
In the demisexualidad the physical desire depends more on the feeling
What are the differences between demisexuality and asexuality? In asexuality people do not feel any physical attraction, neither by strangers nor by loved ones, but demisexuals if they can feel it after establishing the emotional link. In the matter of sex, the asexual is not interested, but they can have a partner and feel love as long as the other person respects their decision. They can also have sex with other people for specific reasons but not out of desire. In the demisexual something similar happens, can have sex with people without establishing a bond strong enough but they will not feel like doing it.
On the other hand, in the demisexualidad the physical desire depends more on the feeling that makes him feel the other person that of the gender. So that attraction can occur with men or women.
How is the life of a demisexual person? At first, in adolescence, demisexual people feel different. They may feel bewildered because they live desire differently. At this time the adolescents are a Molotov cocktail of hormones, however the demisexuals do not have that need and that makes them feel different from the rest, not getting to understand themselves.
Later, the demisexual person no longer feels self-conscious because he understands that demisexuality is as valid as any other. It is possible that adults throughout their life do not experience erotic attraction as frequently as others and find it more difficult to get a partner, but this does not mean that their life and sexuality is lived in a worse or better way.
Frequently asked questions about demisexuality Below we leave you with questions that can help you understand more about this community.
They can have fantasies with the person with whom they have that link or imagine one
- Do demisexuals enjoy masturbating or having sex with people without an emotional bond? It is possible in both cases. The demisexuals can enjoy sex both alone and accompanied, is a pleasant sensation that can be done even if you do not feel physically attracted by another person, another thing is that they feel like it. In the case of masturbation, the answer is obvious. They can have fantasies with the person with whom they have that link or imagine one.
-Consume pornography A lot of people resort to it without needing to feel previously attracted to the actors, they just like to see the act itself.
- A celibe is demisexual? Clearly not. A person is celibate because he chooses it, nevertheless a demisexual is it in a natural way. Sometimes they can coincide, if that happens it is easier for her to maintain celibacy because she does not have to face the sexual instincts that her other celibate companions can have.
there are mental disorders that produce hypersexuality
- The demisexualidad can be triggered by a physical disease, mental disorder or trauma? Sometimes yes. In the case of physical illnesses, people with some kind of disability or seriously ill can ask themselves if they would be demisexual if they had not had this problem. It may be, it is difficult to know the reasons for feeling one way or another. There are organic diseases that hinder sex or drastically reduce sex hormones and with it the ability to feel desire.
On the other hand, there are mental disorders that produce a hypersexuality, the person becomes uninhibited and becomes very impulsive. For example in episodes of mania, borderline personality disorder or sex addicts. However, others such as chronic depression, anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc. lower libido to unsuspected levels.
Other conditions of the person can make them prone to demisexuality, such as schizoid or schizotypal personalities or people who are within the autistic spectrum.
Finally, there are people who have experienced traumas, usually sexual (although not necessarily) that develop negative emotions towards sex and are afraid of sexual intimacy. They have a hard time trusting people again.
Anyway, these are just some examples, there are people who do not have or have any of these characteristics and still are unable to feel attraction for others until they do not know enough, every person is a world and is free to live life as you want.
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